The Perfect Guy: A Romance Novel Read online

  Peter frowned. “Why would she do that?”

  “She has this strange view of the world. She thinks that everyone in her proximity has to be perfect. I wasn’t in her eyes, and so she sent me here.”

  “Didn’t she know that this program isn’t about becoming perfect?”

  I smiled at him. “I guess she was fooled by the name.”

  “But why haven’t you told anyone? If Mr. or Mrs. Kellen knew the truth, I’m sure they could overlook the legal aspects of the contract and let you go home.”

  “If I’d told them in the beginning, they could have sued my family for wasting their resources and time, and now I’ve let it go on for too long.”

  “If your mother is as horrible as I imagine her, why do you care?” Peter asked. We had started to walk again, but we were on our way back inside the school.

  “It’s not my mother I think about. I don’t want to put that on my father. It could ruin his reputation if it was revealed that his wife had committed a crime like that. His career is one of his last joys in life. Now that he knows what kind of woman Mother is, I’m pretty sure he’ll only give her one more chance before he files for a divorce. Their marriage will never be the same, and it pains him since he still loves her very deeply.”

  “Your father means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

  I smiled toward Peter. “He means the world to me. He’s my Papa.” I knew Peter wouldn’t know how much the nickname actually meant, but I couldn’t explain it in any other way.

  Fortunately, I didn’t have to. Peter seemed to understand it to an extent.

  We reached the second floor where Peter had his room. He turned to me and the smile he had on his face now was a complete opposite of the expression he’d worn before. “I’m really glad you sat on that bench today, Jenn,” he said.

  “I am, too. You are the first that I’ve told about how I got here.”

  “Then I feel honored. See you around.” He made a small salute with two fingers and then walked toward his room.

  I turned around to continue to the third floor, but I stopped short when I almost collided with someone’s chest. I looked up to see James standing there with an unreadable expression on his face.

  “Whoa, James, I didn’t see you.”

  “Obviously,” he replied shortly.

  I frowned at his tone. “Is everything okay?”

  He looked me straight in the eyes when he answered me. “No, everything’s not okay.”

  My stomach clenched with worry. What could possibly bother James enough to make him act like this? His posture was tense, and his green eyes were rock hard. “What’s the matter?”

  James lifted his head and glared at a spot over my head. “I believe that Peter guy likes you a bit too much.”

  Chapter 11

  The Change

  My eyes widened in disbelief and I felt my breath rush out of my lungs while I stared at James and just waited for him to smile and say “I’m kidding!”

  He never did. He maintained his tense posture and angry glare. It was clear he disapproved of my newfound friendship with Peter but I couldn’t figure out why. Peter and I hadn’t done anything but talk. We didn’t know each other. Even though he’d told me about his past, he was still practically a stranger to me.

  Having James direct this very unfounded anger toward me shocked me and my first instinct was to defend myself.

  “What’s your deal, James? I talked to the guy for the first time today.”

  His eyes snapped my way and his green depths sparkled with fury, but it didn’t feel dangerous like the way he had looked at me before. I could see in his eyes that the anger wasn’t really directed my way. He wasn’t angry with me.

  “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the way that guy looked at you just now. He wants you.” His voice held an almost desperate tone to it, as if he wanted me to realize what it was he was trying to say.

  I always thought guys would become easier to understand the older they got, but it was obvious that wasn’t the case with James.

  “So? What does it matter to you? Or me for that matter? It’s not like I want him.”

  James stepped closer until I had to bend my head backwards to maintain eye contact. His movements were slow and calculated, but I couldn’t help myself when I flinched slightly in response to him placing both his hands on my shoulders and letting them slide down my arms before he circled his fingers around my wrists.

  My heart was pounding against my ribcage and I couldn’t look away from his eyes. I felt like a bird trapped in a snake’s gaze. I was completely unable to move unless he directed me.

  His eyes softened as he leaned down and spoke lowly into my ear. “Then who do you want, Jenn?”

  His warm breath tickled my ear and I shivered. My eyes closed on their own accord and my breath escaped me in heavy pants.

  This was a new side of James that I hadn’t seen before and it excited me. Not once during the month I’d been here had he given me any indication that he could be attracted to me like I was attracted to him.

  Suddenly, he wasn’t in front of me anymore. Cold air hit me where his body had almost pressed against me a second ago. I blinked in confusion before I focused on the man that now stood several steps away from me.

  His eyes were hard again as he stared. “Think about that before you make yourself available to other guys again.” He let his words sink in for a second, and then he turned on his heel and left.

  Too stunned to do anything but stare after him, I stood there with my mouth agape and my thoughts running wild.

  I knew that I hadn’t done anything wrong. I was only talking to Peter and it had all been completely innocent, and James and I weren’t even together, but then why did I feel so guilty?

  “Hey, Jenn! Some of the guys invited us to catch a movie in town and then go out for a couple of drinks. Are you in?” Leah asked me when she and Jessica came through our room door and spotted me on the couch, painting my toenails.

  Still focused on keeping the polish on the nail only and not on my little toe, it took me a few seconds to answer. I looked up at my roommates with an unfocused expression when it registered to me what they’d said.

  “Tonight?” I asked dumbly.

  Leah rolled her eyes at me. “No, next month, stupid. Yes, tonight! So are you in or not?”

  I lowered my eyes back to my now light pink toenails and wondered for a moment why I’d chosen that color when I clearly remembered I’d considered a bold purple just thirty minutes earlier. I couldn’t even remember making the conscious choice of the color.

  I shook my head to rid myself of the thought and focused back on the conversation I was having.

  It was an appealing thought to go out on the town, even if just for a movie and drinks. I really needed to relax and have some fun, and it was something I hadn’t done once since I arrived here in Ohio three months ago.

  I imagined saying yes and also inviting James along since he probably needed some fun as well, but then I remembered that James had told me he wasn’t a fan of nights out on the town.

  I felt disappointed that I would obviously stay behind, but there was nothing I could do about it.

  “Actually, I think I’m going to stay here. James doesn’t like to go out anyway,” I said and started to clean up the mess I’d made on the coffee table.

  “So? Who cares? I didn’t ask James, I asked you,” Leah pointed out and I stopped my actions and thought through what I’d just said, then I frowned.

  What had possibly possessed me to say what I’d said? What did it matter that James didn’t like going out? I did, so I shouldn’t let that stop me. He wasn’t even coming along.

  Before I could say that I would go with them anyway, Jessica spoke up. “You know, Jenn, lately it’s been a lot about James when it comes you. It’s kind of freaky how he almost controls you, and you’re not even together. He’s only your volunteer boyfriend.”

  I questioningly turned to Jessica.
“What do you mean by that? James doesn’t control me,” I said with a smile. It was ridiculous that Jessica thought that James had that kind of control over me.

  Jessica turned her head and made eye contact with Leah, who looked like she did not want to have this conversation.

  “What?” I asked when they stayed quiet for too long.

  “You’re not aware of it yourself, are you?”

  “Aware of what?” I was slowly becoming more frustrated when they continued being so cryptic. Jessica exchanged another look with Leah. She sighed and gestured for Jessica to continue.

  “About two months back, something in you started to change. It wasn’t anything drastic so neither of us really thought much about it, but it’s become more apparent lately.” She paused to take a breath. “Sometimes, you act as if you need James’s permission to do certain stuff, especially when guys are involved. Whenever he’s around, you become more subdued and it has started to seep into your persona for when you’re away from him.”

  Something squeezed painfully inside me while Jessica spoke. I didn’t want to believe what she was telling me. The picture she painted of James was all wrong. He wasn’t controlling the way she said. He simply made me rethink of my bad choices. He made sure I made the right ones instead.

  “Who says that it’s James? I mean, this is a program, so it’s probably what I learn here that changes me,” I replied weakly. It sounded like a lame defense even in my own ears.

  “They don’t teach us to change ourselves, Jenn. They add to our personalities, they don’t take traits away from us,” Jessica said carefully and looked at me sympathetically.

  Leah crossed her arms over her chest. “Believe me, darling, when I tell you that Masen has changed you, a lot.”

  It was her nickname for me that pulled me back to reality completely since it reminded me of Becca and I suddenly felt nauseous. I turned my head and watched my own reflection in the mirror that was mounted on the wall close to the door.

  I saw a woman whom I did not recognize look back at me. She had her hair in unnatural waves and makeup on even though she hadn’t planned on going anywhere today.

  The light pink blouse and beige skirt matched newly painted toenails, but her eyes were wide with realization and horror. The woman reminded me way too much of Renée and I felt the urge to tear at my hair and scream. What had happened to me and how had it escaped my notice?

  I spotted a hair tie on the coffee table and a dived for it to put my hair up in a high and messy pony tail, but it wasn’t enough. I needed to get out of the clothes I was currently wearing, so without a word I ran into the bedroom and changed my clothes to jeans and a loosely fitted shirt that I had always loved because it was a gift from Becca.

  I applied a bit more makeup because I was going out tonight no matter what. I could not stay around here now that I’d come to the horrifying realization that I’d come to. I needed a distraction, something to get my mind off the panicky feelings that were building up inside.

  Lastly, I removed the nail polish and slipped my feet into a pair of low heeled boots that were worn on the edges but it was something that only made them look better.

  When I was done, I stood by the door and waited for the girls. They both emerged from the kitchen where they’d made something to eat and looked at me with shocked expressions. I don’t think they’d expected the extreme makeover look.

  “Are you guys ready?” I asked as if everything was okay.

  “Eh, sure,” Jessica replied and reached for her jacket.

  Leah did the same and then we were out the door. “You look awesome, by the way, Jenn,” she said as we descended the stairs.

  The guys that Jessica and Leah had mentioned earlier turned out to be Michael Newton— Charlotte Moore’s volunteer—Eric Yorkie, Riley Biers, Ricky Black, Peter, and Sam Uley, together with Eric’s volunteer, Vanessa Wolfe—the girl with auburn hair that Ricky seemed to be interested in—Tanya Denali, and Emily Young. We were an even number of people, so I had no doubt that by the end of the night, most of us would be separated into pairs, especially since I saw the looks that were exchanged between Vanessa and Ricky as well as between Michael and Jessica.

  Peter smiled when he saw that I had joined the girls, but he did not approach me to say hello. I didn’t know why, but he had distanced himself from me ever since our conversation about Lauren two months ago. It didn’t stop him from being happy that I was with them though.

  Before we had time to exit the front doors and walk toward the garage and our cars, fast steps were heard from down the corridor and only seconds later, James rounded the corner with a frustrated expression on his face.

  Even before he reached us, he called out for me. “Jenn? Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  I told the others that I would be right back before I followed James a few steps away from the rest so that we would have some privacy. I had a feeling this would be an unpleasant conversation.

  When we were out of the others’ hearing range, James turned around to face me. “Where exactly are you going?” His voice wasn’t harsh or angry, but demanding. I immediately took a defensive stance. Technically, it was none of James’s business where I was going.

  “We’re going down to the town for a movie and a few drinks, why?” I gave him the benefit of a doubt and opened up my reply like a question in the end. I actually wanted to know what his deal was and why he had obviously started to change me like Leah and Jessica had said.

  “You haven’t said anything about that to me,” he said and I could see that his frustration was starting to seep through, although I had no idea why he was frustrated in the first place.

  “It wasn’t planned. It was a snap choice.” I crossed my arms across my chest when I saw that his eyes were beginning to harden. He was slowly turning into the James I’d only seen twice, the one I was slightly afraid of. He wasn’t anything like the man I was attracted to in these moments.

  “Well, you’re not going,” he said as if he had any say in the matter.

  My own temper that I’d been able to bury pretty deep lately flared white hot inside of me. I had always hated being told what I was allowed to do, but this was different. James had no right whatsoever to decide over me.

  “That’s not really your decision, James,” I spoke through gritted teeth, but James did not even react to my anger and it infuriated me further.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment while he studied me up and down. When he opened his mouth again, he said the last thing I expected. “What happened to your clothes?”

  My shock made my arms fall from their position across my chest. “What?”

  “You haven’t worn jeans in at least a month. What suddenly changed?”

  He was completely serious in his questions, so I gave him a serious answer. “Nothing changed. I just found myself again when I realized that I was becoming my mother.”

  He didn’t take his eyes from mine, but I saw a shift in them that indicated this was nothing new to him. Leah and Jessica said that James had changed me, and in that moment I really wondered why. Why had he started to change me, especially since he knew what my relationship with Renée was really like? What was his motivation behind it?

  I took a step closer to him so that we were almost touching. “Why are you trying to change me, James?” I asked lowly.

  Once again, his eyes revealed a short second of shock as if he hadn’t expected me to call him out, but that glimmer disappeared quickly, and he did not answer me.

  I sighed. “They’re waiting for me,” I said and turned around to walk back to my friends, but his hand on my wrist hindered me from going far from him.

  “Jenn—”

  “I’m going, James, and you can’t stop me. You have no right to stop me.” I tugged my arm out of his hold and went back to the others.

  James stood motionless while staring after the young woman that had shocked him into near silence.

  He had no idea what had just transp
ired between the two, but what he did know was that he had just gotten a taste of why Jennifer was different from other girls. She wasn’t easily broken at all. It had taken him two months to get to this place and now he would have to start from square one now that she had dug herself out again.

  He couldn’t help but to feel some kind of admiration for Jennifer. She was nothing like he had ever encountered before and, for a second, James doubted if he would even be able to change her. She had too much strong will.

  But James had never failed, and he wouldn’t start now.

  He would only have to try harder with a different tactic and approach.

  Chapter 12: The Past

  I laughed.

  And then I laughed some more.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed as much as I had tonight, and it felt good. It eased up the knot in my chest that had only gotten tighter with each passing hour since I saw my own Renée-like reflection, and even though I still missed Dad and Becca at home, my joy made it bearable.

  “Please, please, stop before I faint,” I wheezed out between fits of laughter and Sam immediately stopped his imitations with a pleased grin. Apparently, Sam was quite the comedian and he was awesome at celebrity impersonations.

  I was definitely not the only one clutching my stomach or trying to stay upright on the high barstools. Eric had actually already fallen off his chair and was currently sitting on the floor with his back supported against the front of the bar.

  For people looking at us, I was convinced that we looked like a drunken gang, but we had only had one drink each, definitely not enough to intoxicate anyone. We were just happy and laughing, feeling a bit of freedom after having been at the school for three months, and it felt really good to get to know the others and make some friends.

  I learned about all of their ages and I actually felt rather relieved when I found out that I wasn’t the oldest in the bunch. Tanya was two years older than me, married and with a four-year-old son back home in Wisconsin. The only reason that she was even in the program was to make one last try in saving her marriage.