The Perfect Guy: A Romance Novel Read online

  THE PERFECT GUY

  A ROMANCE NOVEL

  BY

  Maria LaCarro

  CHAPTER 1

  SINGLE AGAIN

  I dropped my bag just inside the door and gave it a hard enough kick to make it slide into the opposite wall with a loud bang. I imagined it was George’s head and it gave me some satisfaction, but I needed another outlet for my anger, so I threw my keys at my bedroom door as well.

  “Fuck you, George,” I said into the empty apartment. What did he know anyway? Well, according to my mom, everything that was needed to be the perfect boyfriend. She was going to freak out when she found out that George had broken up with me. It had been her dream to have him as her son-in-law, as that would make up for the disappointment of having me as her daughter.

  I was so caught up in my anger, I almost threw my phone as well when it started to ring. I didn’t have to check the caller ID to know who it was. I already knew that it was my mother.

  “Yes?” My tone was biting and unwelcome, indicating that I was too upset to talk right now. You’d think that, as my mother, she would hear that and ask me how I was doing, but no. The first thing that came out of her mouth was just more proof that I was a big flaw in her perfect life.

  “Jennifer, what did you do to make George break up with you? How could you?” The hand that was not holding the phone curled into a fist. It didn’t come as a surprise that she already knew about the breakup. George probably called her the minute I left the restaurant to tell her what happened.

  I counted backwards from ten to restrain myself from screaming at my mother. There was no use in arguing with her anyway. I’d learned that a long time ago. I sighed quietly so that she wouldn’t hear it through the phone. “I didn’t do anything, Mother. It was more what I didn’t do that caused him to end it.”

  “What in the world do you mean by that, Jennifer?” I closed my eyes when she used my full name once again. That was just another thing that annoyed me when it came to my mother. She knew how much I disliked my full name, but she stubbornly kept calling me that, insisting that it was a much more mature name than my preferred shortened version.

  “What I mean is that, according to him, I don’t have the slightest idea on how to act like a girlfriend.” I rolled my eyes, and it was in that moment that I realized that I really wasn’t that upset about the fact that my relationship was over. I had never really had any kind of deep connection with George and I had always thought of him as a boring guy with a proverbial stick shoved up his ass that needed to be removed. No, what I was upset about was the fact that his words had made me feel unfeminine.

  “That’s impossible. I’ve raised you to be the perfect woman,” Mother insisted with a hint of panic lacing her nasal voice. It was in situations like this that I wondered what my dad really saw in my mother.

  Now, before you think I sound like a bratty, ungrateful kid, let me tell you a bit about my parents.

  My father, Charles Braun, didn’t have a lot of money growing up. He wasn’t exactly poor either. I guess you could call his family strictly middle-class. They got by pretty well, but they never spent any money on unnecessary luxury.

  My grandparents, Geoffrey and Helen Braun, believed in hard work and that you had to earn your respect, but they were never cheap on love. When they died, Dad and I had been heart-broken.

  Anyway, Dad was an aspiring police officer when he met my mother at the age of twenty-four. He had recently graduated from the police academy, and he lived in a shitty studio apartment in one of the dirtier neighborhoods of Seattle.

  He had been called in to investigate a robbery that had happened in the suburbs.

  My mom, Renée Higgenbotham, was nineteen and the daughter of a neighbor. She’d had some friends over, and like all teenage girls, they lived for gossip. They wanted to know what was going on across the street, and when they saw the handsome, dark-haired, young police officer, they convinced Renée that if she flirted with him, he would probably tell her a thing or two.

  To make a long version short, she charmed the pants off him—she could act nice and innocent when she wanted to—and my dad fell head over heels for the younger woman.

  At first, they snuck around with their relationship, since Charlie wasn’t what the Higgenbotham’s wanted for their daughter, but when Renée found out that she was pregnant at the age of twenty, everything changed.

  She had run to her parents, crying her eyes out, and they’d threatened to revoke the trust fund they’d set up for her unless she stepped up and married the man responsible for the predicament she found herself in.

  She had reluctantly agreed—her intention had never been to become that serious with Charlie—and they got married as soon as the wedding was put together, which was two months later.

  The marriage wasn’t a happy one. My dad tried, since he was still very much in love with my mother, but she did everything she could to show how unhappy she was. She even went so far as to threaten with an abortion, and had my dad not begged her on his bare knees, I wouldn’t have been here today.

  Once I was born, she started an affair with the man she’d wanted to marry from the start—a lawyer named Phil Dwyer—and she didn’t even try to keep it a secret from my dad.

  Feeling miserable that his wife was so unhappy, Dad buried himself in his work, which caused him to advance very quickly. Only four years after I was born, he was promoted to Chief of Police, and a whole new world opened up to him. He was suddenly viewed as a socialite and got invited to all kinds of events and parties.

  My mother was delighted and she dropped Phil faster than a hot pan. She finally had the husband she’d wanted all along.

  Dad thought that Renée had changed and that their marriage would now go for the better and it did. Whenever Dad was nearby, she was the ideal wife and mother, but whenever she was alone with me, she didn’t hesitate to show me how much she still blamed me for how her life turned out.

  She wasn’t supposed to get kids until after she was married to a successful man, and she would preferably have been at least twenty-five when that happened. Instead, I came five years earlier, conceived during a night of teenage rebellion, fathered by a man that was the complete opposite of what she wanted.

  So, yeah, I couldn’t exactly say that I was my mother’s biggest fan.

  But I still had a decent childhood. Whenever my mother felt too tired of me, she shipped me off to my grandparents, who lived in a neighborhood full of kids my age, and I got to play and just have fun. Dad would come and get me on the evenings and we’d have dinner there before going back home.

  My mother believed she’d raised me to be the perfect woman, but my Nana had raised me to be my own person, and since I respected Nana loads more than my mother, I listened to her. I just pretended to listen to my mother’s nagging to appease her and get her off my back.

  “Maybe he felt threatened by how perfect I was,” I said and rolled my eyes again.

  My mother huffed. “Well, whatever happened, you better apologize to him and fix your relationship.” With that, she hung up the phone, and I exhaled with relief. Now I was free from her until she realized that I wouldn’t go back to George even if I was offered money. He was just not my type, and I knew that now.

  Desperately needing something to calm me down, I went to my freezer and retrieved my B&J chocolate fudge ice-cream and a spoon before sitting down in front of the TV and watching re-runs of Friends. That show was, without a doubt, the best one that had ever existed.

  I was in the middle of that episode when Ross and Phoebe date a divorced couple, which causes them to fight as if they were the exes, when my phone rang. Checking the caller ID, I smiled wide
ly as I answered with a few lines of the episode.

  “I knew you would throw that in my face. She apologized and apologized. What more do you want?!”

  “We want the last six years back!” Rebecca Walters, my BFF and sister from another mister, replied.

  “So do we! So. Do. We!” We erupted in laughter, and I almost fell off the couch. When we were finally able to calm down and catch our breath, I asked her to wait so that I could get my hands-free headset. “Alright, Sissy, talk to me,” I said once everything was in its place.

  “You already know why I’m calling, sweet thing. Word spreads like a goddamn STD in this town. So tell me, what the fudge happened between you and dead meat.”

  I giggled at her nickname for George. She had never made it secret that she despised that man as much as she despised pickles, which was a lot.

  “I am able to inform you that dead meat, AKA George Carter, is officially out of my life.” I threw the empty ice-cream bucket in the trash and decided that I needed some real food, so I started to rummage through my fridge to see what I had. “By the way, do you know what I can make with a zucchini, a few carrots, a half red onion, a lump of cheddar, and a two day old bowl of salsa that’s actually edible?” I guess it was time for me to go grocery shopping.

  “Do you have bread?”

  “A few slices, I think.” I checked the bread basket and found four slices of whole wheat bread.

  “Then you can make an awesome Panini, but back to the important stuff. You, dead meat, what happened?”

  I rolled my eyes and summarized what had happened at the restaurant that George took me to for lunch. It had been one of those fancy places where everyone that worked there kissed your ass in hopes of getting a huge tip.

  It had started with him commenting on my way of eating. He wondered why I was so sophisticated when we went to Sunday brunch at my parents’, but when we were alone I ate like an animal.

  I didn’t eat like an animal, thank you very much. Just because I took larger bites when I wasn’t under the scrutiny of my mother, it didn’t make me unsophisticated.

  After that, the things about me that bothered him just started to spew from his mouth. I’d eventually gotten tired of it and told him to shut up. He’d looked shocked by my outburst, and when he regained his composure he said that it was the icing on the proverbial cake. He couldn’t continue with his hope that he could change me.

  George Carter could just go fuck himself.

  I wasn’t in need of a change. I was awesome just as I was. Nana, Pops, Dad, and Becca had told me that repeatedly. They’d never lied to me before, so I trusted them.

  “George was a motherfucker and you should be glad that you’re rid of him.”

  “Oh, believe me, I am! He was much more my mother’s type anyway.”

  “Hence the reason of why he’s a motherfucker.”

  “Oh, eeww, Sissy! That’s an image I don’t want in my head.” I shuddered when the unwanted images came anyway. Just the thought of my mother and George together made me want to hurl. Where was a dunk of bleach when you needed it?

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I want to know what your plan is now.”

  “Plan for what?”

  “Well, duh! You’re hot, sexy, and single. We need to get you out on the market, babe, and find you a new beau. Preferably a normal one.”

  I groaned. “I’m thinking about just quitting on dating. Maybe I’ll become a lesbo.” I said the last thing mostly to myself, but Becca heard it.

  “Whoa, hold your horses there, darling! As much as I would still love you if you were rubbing rugs instead of poles, that’s insane. You can’t just quit. You’re only twenty-six.”

  “Yes, but I’ve been fucked over for the last time. All the guys I’ve been dating have been total losers. It’s quite obvious that there aren’t any good men out there.”

  “You shut your dirty mouth. My Solomon is perfect in every way.”

  I chuckled at her. “I meant for me. You know very well that I wish I could find my own Solomon.”

  “And you will, but not if you quit, stupid!”

  “Yeah, yeah, okay, I get it. So, you want to go out tonight?”

  “Oh, girl! You know I’d love to, but I have plans with my man. Call Maggie, she’s on a break from Daniel, again, so you can hunt together.”

  I didn’t even have to think about that. “No, I don’t want to go with Maggie. She’s nice and all, but we both know that Daniel will follow her there and the night will end up with them making out in some corner. I want my sissy with me when I look for potential beaus.”

  “I’m sorry, darling. Rain check?”

  I sighed. “Fine, I guess I’ll just get back to my Panini then.” I had really hoped to get drunk tonight, or at least get a good buzz and maybe find a handsome stranger that could get my thoughts off George.

  “That’s the spirit, babe. Say hi to Joey and Chandler from me.” Oh, she knew me so well. My night would be me stuffing my face with goodies and continuing my Friends marathon.

  “Will do. Talk to you another time, Sissy.”

  “Absolutely, darling. Have a good night.”

  I sighed again as I started to prepare for my lonely celebration of being single again.

  CHAPTER 2

  THE ACCEPTANCE

  Something wasn’t right. I could feel it in my entire body, and my mother was way too happy for normal behavior. Only last week, she was still pissed at me since I hadn’t made any move to repair my so-called relationship with George during the month that had passed, but now she acted as if she was completely fine with it, which I knew she wasn’t.

  It was Sunday and I was at my parents’ place for our weekly brunch, which I hadn’t been able to excuse myself out of this week either. Mother insisted on us having brunch every week, even though neither of us enjoyed it. It was just something we were supposed to do since that was what she always did growing up.

  Dad didn’t enjoy these affairs either, but that was mostly because Mother demanded for us to dress up. I don’t think she would ever accept that Dad and I weren’t the type of people who felt comfortable in suits and dresses. We were more jeans and t-shirt people.

  I snickered at Dad when he once again tucked on the collar of his dress shirt, and he glared at me in return. “Don’t look at me like that,” I said to him when Mother was in the other room. “I’m on your side in this, remember?”

  Dad grunted and loosened his tie. Mother immediately tightened it again when she reentered the room, and Dad rolled his eyes when she had her back to him.

  I frowned when she turned to me with a smile she thought was warm and inviting, when in reality it gave me the chills.

  She continued giving me that smile for the duration of the meal. She made me nervous, but I couldn’t call her out on it because, knowing my mother, she would only wave it away as if I were imagining it all.

  “Jennifer, I have something for you,” she eventually said, and suddenly an envelope appeared in her hand. Where she got it from, I couldn’t tell. It was as if she conjured it from nothing.

  She offered the official-looking manila to me with that same bone-chilling smile, and I hesitantly accepted it.

  “What’s this?” I asked suspiciously. What could Mother possibly have concocted together this time? News that made my mother this happy was never good in my book.

  “A gift,” she replied with a shrug, as if it were a common occurrence for her to give me things.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “But my birthday isn’t until September.”

  Mother sighed. “Yes, I know that”—no, she didn’t—“but this isn’t a birthday gift.”

  I opened the envelope to find a typed-written letter inside.

  “Dear Miss Braun,

  We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to attend The PPP later this year.

  Your application was chosen as one of fifteen for this year's class and you will arrive to our school in the fall, together with
your classmates.

  Further information will be given to you at the start of the term.

  Sincerely

  Mrs. E. A. Kellen, Headmistress”

  “What the fuck is this?” I stared at my mother, feeling intense anger boiling up inside. I knew exactly what The PPP was. It was short for The Perfect Partner Program, a school in Columbus, Ohio, where they brainwashed you to act like a freaking robot, all in the purpose of pleasing the opposite sex.

  The name in itself gave me chills.

  “Jennifer, language,” Mother reprimanded me, but I couldn’t have cared less.

  “Answer my question,” I said through clenched teeth.

  Mother sighed. “After your breakup with George, I realized that there was so much I hadn’t been able to teach you, so I sent in an application in your name. The acceptance letter came this morning.”

  I gaped at the woman that gave me life in disbelief. This was low, even for her. “I’m not the one to blame for the breakup. He broke up with me, remember?”

  “I talked to George, and he told me everything. There’s no reason to pass the blame, Jennifer.”

  “What is all this about?” Dad asked from my other side. He eyed the letter in my hand curiously. It was obvious that he had no idea what Mother had done.

  I offered him the letter and he read through it with furrowed brows. When he was finished, he looked up with a confused expression. “Renée, what’s your intention with this?”

  Mother straightened her back when she understood that she wouldn’t get Dad’s support. “I did it with our daughter’s best interest at heart, Charles.” Bullshit! “And George agreed to take her back after she’s gone through the program.”

  What!?

  “As if I would take that motherfucker back,” I sneered and took pleasure in Mother’s distraught expression at my crude language.

  “Jennifer, that’s enough. Please, act your age,” Dad said calmly from his seat. It didn’t matter that he disliked this as much as I did. He had never liked it when I cursed too much because he thought that made me sound unintelligent.