The Perfect Guy: A Romance Novel Read online

  I didn't reply to that, and there was a pause in our conversation.

  “Well, maybe it’s just bad karma,” I said when I decided to break the silence and lighten up the mood.

  “What do you mean by that?” Becca asked, still frowning at me.

  “I must have done something bad in my previous life to deserve a mother like Renée, right?”

  Becca stared me down to see if I was actually as fine as I said, and when all I did was smile at her, she smiled back and hopped down from the window. “You are so weird, darling, but I love you anyway.”

  She took my now-empty tea cup from me and left me alone, so I turned back to continue looking out through the window where the children had now stopped their fight and were attempting to make an igloo, but the snow wasn’t compact enough, so it kept falling apart.

  I couldn’t help but laugh when one of the boys got so frustrated he decided to give up and pushed his friend into the growing pile of snow. The friend practically disappeared, and when his head popped up, his cold, red face was laughing until he could barely catch a breath.

  The sight made me so happy, and I found myself wishing that I was watching my own children.

  I always knew that I would want children, but I had pushed that feeling aside when it seemed as if I would marry George. I didn’t want to give birth to his children because I was afraid of how he would treat them.

  When we broke up, the desire was awakened again, but if the luck I’d had with men so far stuck, I wasn’t so sure there would ever be any children for me. Sadly, a man was kind of necessary for a child to be created, unless I wanted a test-tube child, and I wasn’t too sold on being the mom who told my child that I had absolutely no idea who their dad was.

  The longing grew so intense while I watched the boys that I had to look away and hop down from the couch to do something else and get my thoughts elsewhere.

  I had to stay positive, though.

  I had turned twenty-seven during my time at the school, and it wasn’t exactly too late for me to get all of this. I was still young, and I hadn’t even found the job I wanted to do yet.

  I had plenty of time.

  James was sitting on the couch in Esme’s office and completely ignoring her pacing.

  She was about to have a panic attack, and it felt as if she was breathing through a straw.

  “I just-I can’t believe you let her leave like that. Do you have any idea what the consequences will be? What if she decides to go to the press? What do you think will happen then? The school will be closed! There will be no more missions, James!”

  “I don’t care,” he mumbled in response, but Esme heard him just fine.

  “Oh really? What are you going to do then? When the money isn’t rolling in as usual?” Esme asked with a sarcastic hint in her voice. Her brother, James’s father, had told his son many times that he had to get a proper job and start to live a more honest life, and Esme had been behind her brother the entire way, but when it was obvious that James would never want a normal job, she had counted on his continued involvement in the program.

  Without him, the school would be exactly what Esme’s husband wanted it to be: a simple school for young people to learn to communicate with the opposite gender.

  This was not Esme’s vision.

  She had a certain way she thought that women should act, and the school was a perfect cover for it. She’d had the plan that she would slowly transform the school into her vision to teach women how they should act like ladies but be able to think in ways that made the men believe they had control, but it was all the women.

  She had hoped that maybe Renée would want to help her in the future since her old friend was the ultimate woman in Esme’s eyes.

  It would, however, never happen now when Jennifer had been let go before her time. She could decide any day that she would go to the press with her story, and even though there was no evidence that Esme knew of, Jennifer probably had some.

  And now with the way her nephew was talking, Esme feared that he would actually stand behind Jennifer if it came down to it.

  James looked up at his aunt with his head tilted down, and it was obvious that he was becoming angry. “I am very much capable of working, and I know that I can use my talent for something far better than what it’s been used for here.”

  Esme crossed her arms over her chest. “Such as?” She was actually interested in hearing what he had planned. James had never had the patience for a regular job, and it was one of the reasons why she had offered him to “work” for her at such an early age.

  James shrugged. “I don’t know yet, but I refuse to believe that it can’t be used for anything but to brainwash people into being something they’re not.”

  Esme narrowed her eyes at her nephew. He didn’t sound like himself. He had somehow changed, and it actually sounded as if he had a developed a sense of compassion.

  She was just about to open her mouth when the door to the office was thrown open and a red-faced Carlisle came storming inside. He was puffing with anger, and he strode up to his wife with a determined expression.

  “No more, Esme! Do you hear me? This ends now!” His accent was heavier than it had ever been before.

  James jumped a bit on the couch. He had never heard Carlisle raise his voice toward Esme before, much less show any kind of anger, and he couldn’t deny the authority that poured from the pores of the older man.

  “Carlisle, it’s—”

  “No! I don’t want to hear it! You’ve dragged this school into the mud with your side business. I started this academy with good intentions, and I refuse to see you destroy it!”

  Esme was livid. She didn’t like being told off, and especially not by her husband. “We started this school, Carlisle! Don’t forget that I was just as big of a part of it as you were.”

  Suddenly, a small and very satisfied smile stretched over Carlisle’s face. “Yes, that is true, Esme, but remember that you weren’t nearly as intelligent when we married as you are now.”

  He walked over to her desk and took out a folder.

  “Carlisle, what are you doing with our contract?” Esme asked, and a tiny bit of fear had seeped into her voice.

  He opened the folder and held out said contract. “I know you always keep this close, but I also know that you’ve never felt that there was a reason for you to read it again after you signed it, because if you had, I know you would have come to me and opposed.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  James was following the conversation like a tennis match. He was so intrigued that Carlisle Kellen had finally decided to grow some balls. Or maybe he’d always had them. James thought it was a necessity to handle a woman like his aunt, so Carlisle must have had them hidden somewhere.

  Carlisle opened the contract and then took a pen to circle a particular paragraph that he wanted Esme to read.

  When she’d done so, she was gaping at her husband and then threw the contract in his face. “I can’t believe you did this to me, Carlisle! Why? Do you really think I deserve this?”

  Carlisle shrugged. “I knew from the start that you had a manipulative trait. I needed to ensure my own safety when we got married, and the last thing I was going to lose was this school. And before you say anything, don’t even think about finding a loophole, because there is none. Just accept it and move on.”

  He bent down and picked up the contract before he placed it back on her desk. He then calmly straightened his suit jacket and left the office.

  James couldn’t help his curiosity, so he got up from the couch and reached for the contract.

  Esme was fuming and paying no attention to him as she tried to focus on breathing in and out. She just couldn’t believe Carlisle had played such a cheap trick on her.

  James read, and he saw that for someone who didn’t pay attention to the words, the paragraph wouldn’t mean much, but it basically said that while Esme stood as a partner to Carlisle, she was essentially employed b
y him and would so remain as long as they stayed married.

  She would never be able to be the big voice at the school while Carlisle disapproved. He would always have the last word.

  CHAPTER 21

  THE DECISION

  I tried to forget everything as the years slowly passed, and it worked to an extent.

  I could leave everything that was Renée behind me when the divorce was finalized and that meant the Carter's as well. Dad refused to associate with any of them as long as George tried to pursue me, so for the sake of their own social reputation, they promised to keep their distance and find another bride for George.

  I shuddered when I thought of the next poor girl they would sink their claws and teeth into.

  It was also an overjoyed moment in my life, about three years after the entire fiasco had taken place, and I saw my father, at the age of fifty-five, say “I do,” to a woman that actually deserved all the love he was never really allowed to give Renée.

  My stepmother, a woman I wish was my flesh and blood, wasn't from a rich family like Renée. She had, like Dad, worked her way up to where she was today, and she was now one of the most successful OB/GYNs in Seattle. Dr. Susan Tozzi, or Sue as she preferred to be called, was of Italian decent, and she treated me as if I was her own.

  Through the marriage, I got two siblings. Lilliana and Samuele, Lilly and Sam shortened.

  Lilly was a year older than me while Sam was four years younger. Both of them had families of their own, but they welcomed me as their new sister with open arms, and their children weren’t slow to start calling me Aunt Jenn.

  One of Lilliana's girls shared her first name with me, and it made her so excited I thought she would faint when she found out. Especially when she realized I also preferred Jenn before Jennifer. Lilliana only called her Jennifer when she was angry and meant serious business.

  I had also finally decided that I wanted to become a police officer like my Dad, and after having completed my training at the police academy, I worked as a trainee with one of the officers that had worked at the department almost as long as Dad.

  I couldn’t remember ever seeing Dad so proud of me as when he handed me my new badge during the graduation ceremony from the academy, and then again when I got my job at the homicide department.

  I had been working there for two and a half years now and was doing very well for myself. I had bought my own house, mostly with the help of Dad since I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.

  However, even though there were many joyous moments in my life, I could never really forget about the man that had changed me irrevocably and not necessarily in a good way.

  Even though I had met and passed my thirty year mark by now, I still hadn't met a new man. I had developed serious trust issues, and I believe that was why I had never had more than three dates with anyone in the four years that had gone by.

  James often visited my dreams, and there had been times when I woke up in the morning with an aching heart.

  It was stupid, and I hated that I was yearning for a man that was so bad for me, and I would never obviously get him, but I couldn’t tell my heart that. She wanted to experience the passion she’d felt with James again, and according to her, James was the only one capable.

  She’d closed her windows and doors so tight, and no one who was after her affection would get it unless they proved worthy in all departments.

  This was how I’d come to the decision that Dad disapproved of. Being thirty-one without a man in my life had been the final push I needed, and even though I’d first been against it, I found myself going through countless of profiles of men who had donated their players who were now waiting for that final race.

  I was waiting on the results from my fertility tests, and they were to be done any day now.

  Dad and Sam had been opposed to me doing it, and I knew why. They were so close to their own children, and they couldn’t imagine being the guy who would miss out on every step in their child’s life.

  Sue and Lilly were behind me all the way. At first they wanted to make sure that this was what I really wanted, and when they’d made sure of that, they simply nodded and helped me get everything settled.

  “What about this one?” Becca held up one of the profiles in front of her and started to read out loud. “Five ‘nine. Dark hair and blue eyes. Works as a lawyer. No major health issues in his family history.”

  Becca was the only one I allowed to help me with the profiles. She knew what I liked and what traits I hoped to pass along to any child of mine.

  She looked at me over the edge of the paper. “Sounds perfect, doesn’t he?” she said enthusiastically.

  I couldn’t help the shudder that went through me when she said “perfect.”

  “I don’t care about perfect,” I replied. I was kind of sensitive when it came to applying the word ‘perfect’ to anyone. “All I want is someone who can use their brain and have genes that won’t clash horribly with mine.”

  Becca gave me a small smile since she knew where my reaction came from. She placed a soothing hand over mine on the table and stroked it slightly before going back to the task we had put on ourselves.

  “Oh, I like this one,” I said and handed her the profile. “Six ‘one. Dark hair and green eyes. He’s of Scandinavian decent and a high school teacher.”

  Becca read through it and then sighed. “It’s a shame these profiles don’t come with a picture. I would like to see these ‘angular features’ he describes.” I laughed with her at that and then took the profile back. “But yeah, I like him. He seems like a decent donor,” she continued. “Do you think you’ve found your baby daddy?” she asked and winked at me.

  I didn’t say anything while I thought it through. He was my favorite out of all the profiles I’d looked through, so when I finally nodded, Becca let out a squeal and threw her arms around me.

  The tears that started to fall on their own accord were unstoppable, but they were only happy tears. It had finally sunk in that I would have a baby.

  I would have a new little life growing into a human inside of me.

  I would become a Mom.

  “Relax, honey! It will be fine,” Becca said for the eleventh time, but I only squeezed her hand even harder.

  “I’m scared,” I breathed out from my spot on the hard bunk where the nurse had ordered me to lie down. “What if it doesn’t stick? What if the results were wrong? What if I can’t carry a baby to term?”

  “Please, honey, just breathe! The tests came back with only positive results. There is no need for you to fear that there is anything wrong with you! And you know there’s no guarantee for it to stick. We can only hope.”

  I nodded and tried to calm down my breathing. She was right, and I already knew all of this. My fears were irrational, but I couldn’t keep them at bay.

  The doctor came in then, and she introduced herself with a gentle smile.

  “Okay, Jenn, are you ready for this?” she asked, and when I gave a small nod, she gestured for me to put my feet up in the stirrups.

  The day before, I had been given some medicine that would cause superovulation because apparently, it increased the chance of me becoming pregnant. However, I had also been warned that the risk of a multiple pregnancy was higher.

  I didn’t know how I would react if I were to find out that I would have twins or triplets instead of just one baby if I became pregnant.

  The doctor inserted a plastic instrument inside of me, and at first I thought it felt like any other gynecology examination, but when the instrument was inserted even farther to open up my cervix, the discomfort increased into a pinching pain and the groan that escaped me couldn’t be stopped.

  “Yes, I’m sorry, it can be rather uncomfortable,” the doctor apologized, and I wanted to roll my eyes at her. It was just so typical for a doctor to apologize for pain they’d probably never experienced themselves.

  I couldn’t see what she was doing, but I guessed she was inserting the ca
theter through the plastic instrument so that the sperm could be injected directly into my uterus.

  She had walked me through the entire procedure earlier in the appointment for the sake of my comfort, and I was grateful for that now. It felt better to be aware of what was happening to me since I couldn’t see anything.

  “I will now proceed with the insemination,” she said, and I saw from my periphery how she reached for the injection needle where the milky fluid was residing.

  Only two minutes later, I felt how she removed the plastic instrument, and I hissed when it touched my sore cervix.

  “Okay,” she said and got up from her chair to remove her gloves and throw them away. “Just lie still for a few minutes. You might experience some mild cramping over the next couple of days, but that’s completely normal.”

  “How soon can I find out if I’m pregnant?” I asked and looked at her as best as I could from my still horizontal position.

  “It can take a few weeks. Most women will have their answer in two, but there have been those that haven’t received a positive test until a month after the insemination, so don’t feel discouraged if that’s what happens in your case.”

  “So I guess that it wouldn’t help if she were to do as Phoebe in ‘Friends’ and lie upside down,” Becca said with a giggle, and I soon followed. Only my Sissy would connect our favorite TV show with reality like that.

  The doctor giggled as well. “Unfortunately, no. So don’t take a test tonight because the answer will be misleading.” She started to put away her instruments and then told me to sit up slowly. “I will leave you and let you get dressed.”

  Once I’d gotten my own clothes back on, Becca handed me back my bag, and we started for the door.

  “So what do you think? How do you feel?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t exactly feel any different, but I think it would only be weird if I suddenly felt that I was knocked up.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  We went out to the reception area where my doctor gave me a few mild painkillers for the cramps. She also wished me good luck because she knew that if I were in fact now pregnant, she wouldn’t be my doctor. My stepmother had already promised that she would be my doctor, and in that case, when I moved to my parents’ house during the last weeks of my third trimester, she would be able to act fast when my water broke.